chuck norris is my homeboy

chuck norris has been the topic of many conversations lately... out of boredom, here are a few of my favorites, in no particular order:

1. chuck norris' tears cure cancer. too bad he has never cried.
2. when the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for chuck norris.
   
3. chuck norris has already been to mars; that's why there's no sign of life there.
4. chuck norris knows exactly where carmen sandiego is.
5. chuck norris can touch mc hammer.
6. chuck norris is luke skywalker's real father.
7. chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding.
8. some kids piss their name in snow. chuck norris can piss his name in concrete
9. chuck norris can speak braille.
10. once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of chuck norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. we now know this truck as optimus prime.
11. chuck norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
12. chuck norris doesn't sleep. he waits.
13. chuck norris can slam revolving doors.
14. chuck norris can delete the recycling bin.
15. chuck norris can build a snowman out of rain.
16. chuck norris once finished the song that never ends
17. guns dont' kill people. chuck norris kills people.
18. there is no theory of evolution. just a list of animals chuck norris allows to live.
19. chuck norris doesn't get wet. the water gets norris.
    
20. chuck norris doesn't bowel strikes. he just hits one and the others faint.
    

ok, i'd say 20 is enough. what are your favorites?

roses are red, dead computers are blue...

i haven't "blogged" in a while. mostly cuz i just never got around to doing it, but also cuz my computer has been having issues. that's right, the blue screen of death.

if you haven't experienced the blue screen of death you're a lucky person... that or not a computer killer. i am a computer killer. i have gotten the blue screen of death MANY times.

"blue screen of death"

its scary when it happens. "beginning dump of physical memory" who's idea was it to have uneducated computer users like myself read that. microsoft (or whoever decided this) idiots! you read that you panic! and what happens when you panic? instant pushing of the power button. The funny thing is, it says that if its the first time you've seen this screen to restart - but i do it EVERY TIME! read instructions... psh, squirrel please!

lessons learned...

1. don't let me use your computer, i might kill it. i've killed my own computer 5 times and my office computer is beginning to show symptoms.
2. have a friend who knows how to fix computers... preferably one who has copious amounts of illegal software, i mean who wants a computer without microsoft office? more so, who wants to PAY for office?
3. computers suck, but sooooooo bored without one
4. the blue screen of death is bluffing